It's been like 687463342 days since I last blogged.
Alot of things happened for the past few months.
A deep shyt situation, life threatening moments, betrayal unfold, true friendship found, the happiness between a lovers, and finally the day to leave each other.

Family, work, finance, friendship, love.
I think I failed all of them, seriously.
I did things that hurt my parents feelings.
I was not doing anything worthwhile at work, and got a great life lecture.
I spend almost all my money on entertainment and my girl and a little bit of 'crazy' stuff.
I lost a few friends.
I had to breakup with my girl.

It is a long long story, lemme unfold it 1 by 1.

There is this guy, let's call him W.
W and me are kinda like friend since we work nearby, we got good impression of each other at first altho we aren't very close to each other. He didn't know that I started dating Yumi and I have known that he got a big crush on her but I didn't really think abt it until... he keep looking for her and everytime we argue, his name came up and I realize something starting to go wrong.
I invited him out and we talked abt it, I asked him abt her, and after finish discussing I told her no matter who she choose, deal with it with no hard feelings and he agreed.
I thought he understood but he keep pestering her. Candy couldn't bear it and told him, If you value your friend, you should back out when she obviously choosen me. If this keep on, he will lost a friend, that's what Candy said to him. After all this, he still continue to pester her, and I think to myself...''Even if you succeed, could you handle my girlfriend?"
And voila~ He got what he deserved . My gf used her as a companion when we had a bit of cold war and he thought he had become her boy. After a period of time, I asked her whether he is the right guy for her. She told me that he wasn't a right guy afterall and said I'm better. She kissed me after saying that and I told her that how can you kiss me when you are in another relationship. Wouldn't that guy become a pathetic idiot for being used? And she scolded me for calling my friend an idiot. It was a joke for me seriously, how could a guy like him be called my friend after all he did just for a girl, because of an obviously one sided love he felt cheated by my gf and stop being my friend...how hilarious.
I keep trying to 'save' her all this time from repeating her past mistakes which made her like this but I realize I'm stupid. I believed in her because I still have hopes in her but she took it for granted all the time. I keep asking her, why did you keep falling deeper and deeper.
The thing that made me felt stupid that time wasn't because of her breaking my heart, but it is because I didn't realize that.....I was falling down to the same depth as her...a person declared by people as rotten.
Why you ask?
My friends and family asked what happened to me, both my look and personality changed alot.
Weird questions from them made me think, what happened to me after she walked into my life.
Well, 1 of the point is because there is a week which I lost 5 kgs, I guess?
My performance at work was questioned by my superior.
He asked me is it because of her, and he said he is dissapointed at me.
He told me girls nowadays good at injecting poison within us, slowly destroying us from the inside. I get what he said, really, for what am I now, standing infront of him.
Yin always be there everytime I got hurt. I think I owe her alot for helping me.
Johann and the others keep telling me to think carefully about my actions.
Even after a few attempts to leave each other, we still bound together.
Every time we kisses and make love, it is more difficult for us to stay away from each other.
In the end, I decided to break up and told her that we should stop contacting each other for our sake.I believed this and told her, if one day we are matured enough and still have each other at heart, we will eventually bound to be together.
After my mind has cleared, my friends all started to accept me back which a cheerful smile.
Kenny told me, everyone will make mistakes and after the clouds are gone, we will eventually see the sun again and tell me everything's gonna be alright.
My parents forgives me in the end.
Everything are alright now...but 1 thing I know for sure..I'm unable to be the old me..anymore.

Many thanks to the following people for helping me to go through this:

My parents - Forgives me for being an ass.
Kenny - Forgives me, gave me great life lesson, taught me various of things.
Yin - For being there for me when I got hurt.
Johann - For being an alarm for me, telling me it is time to let go of things.
Candy - For patching things up when I fought with her.
Kit - For fetching me to yum cha and Genting during midnight to cheer me up or have fun.
Dickson - For his funny crap which is comparable to Stephen Chow.
Lyvian - For taking care of me like a kid.
Max - For consulting and crap with me.
Joel - For cheering me up and celebrates X'mas & New Year with me.
Maggie - For cheering me up and telling me the danger of HIV.
Kira - For updating me with various news to avoid things.
Ereen - For her lotsa sugesstion when I'm clouded.
Ali - For helping me and telling me that I'm a bad ass.
And all the others that are not mentioned, thanks.

It is a great hapiness for me now,
for I'm being able to love you so,
but being the person I'm growing into makes me know,
that it is finally the time to let you go.
-Sum
2010

Went to cinema on Friday after work for this show.

Seriously this show damn nice man, but less fighting compared to the previous 1 >.<

Watched with Kira, Candy, Yumi and Wei Hao.

Lucky Wei Hao here, or else I'm gonna be a bad boy with 3 pretty girls.

I shared my "kinda big sweater" with Yumi and we had fun cuddling under it.

She lay her head on my shoulder and it is like soooo warm.

After that Candy's ex-bf fetch us go yum cha.

Freaking driving speed can?

Candy get used to it already I guess, for Kira...she doesn't afraid of death 1 and for me obviously I'm enjoying it because I used to enjoy Nicholas fast ride.

After that we fetch Yumi home first, OMG her house and the other houses around are so GIGANTIC. Then she brought her dog for us to take a look. Then we realize her parents was observing us from window above without light on, 1 of us thought it was ghost HAHAHA.

I kissed her on the cheek before she returns home, hope her parents didn't seen that.

.

-Saturday-

Went to Nike to visit Kenneth, but hes in a bad mood and his friend keep calling him to cool down. So I didn't bother to talk to him and go back to work. Everyone in the shop are having alot of arguments same as us. Probably of the feng shui of the shop, nah I dunno =p
After closing the shop, after saying good bye I wanted to kiss her on the cheek but she kissed me on my lips, and went away.....
After awhile Kira called me, she told me that Lyvian been dating with...Ken?
I'm like WTH, it takes some time for me to digest, but compared to Ken..it is no wonder that she choosed him. So...what should I care now? Hahaha

-Sunday-

Actually wanted to watch movie after work, I went back home at 6. Then around 10 was going out halfway, then Kira called me to postpone to tomorrow because Candy wanna watch tomorrow. Kinda pissed by the way she talks to me, calling me to come again after I went back home. After that keep spamming my hp and house phone to apologize, seriously no need la, next time watch movie by yourself.

Another "not so fun" day.
I guess working still the best when you dont have transport to get ur ass to any mall or to get some fun outside.
Recently I keep saying and thinking of this word, [ W H Y ]
Yes, why? I don't know, I keep asking myself and the others "Why?"
Guess I'm pretty crazy lately, guess thats something to do with aging sign Lol.

Oh ya, went to play basketball today, after app 10 minutes, a couple of indian fags (sorry none racism intended) play football on the basketball court.
I'm like "What the hell, this is not futsal man."
and they even move our bags and bottles away.
Then I asked the guy that moved our stuff,

Me: Apa you buat?
Ass: *stares*
Me: You tak nampak I datang sini main dulu?
Ass: Kita mau main bola la.
Me: You seminggu main sini berapa kali?
Ass: Sekali saja la. (Obviously lying, I see them everyday)
Me: Saya sudah lama tak main, so macam mana sekarang?
Ass: *Kept quite and moves away*

After a couple minutes they move to the field to play.
Freaking fags, older than us but being idiots , no wonder they stay at the bottom for their whole life.
If they kick their ball and kena me, I'm gonna freaking break their legs for real.

Kenny taught me how to use the cashier and told me that soon I gonna open the shop or close it myself. Seriously he and Tiger are using us like pawns only. Reality is a cruel thing. I heard Tiger would be in the shop almost everyday to 'jaga' us. Today she preach preach preach until I have to go home late an hour. Most of them complain about Kenny but I just keep quiet because it is useless no matter what you said, you will just get bang by them back so why bother?

I wasn't able to patch things up with 1 of my friend.
Recently she never sms me or ajak me to makan with her.
I think she not interested in me or maybe worse, she hate me.
It is weird and akward when we eat together along with other friends.
It seems we grew even apart from each other.
Mainly I think it is my fault because I provoke her to debate over our personalities and why we couldn't get along.
She told me her personality got problem and stuff but I can't find any reason why she keep trying to avoid me and give me less attention even as a friend.
Now I really regret that I told her that I got a crush on her.
We were trying to be the old us but problem seems getting worse and worse.
I told her that I don't know what she is thinking in her mind and she told me the same thing.
What really makes me sad is that we can't get back to the time when we are so passionate to know and care for each other.
I don't want to bother her with sms or invite her to eat together because I'm afraid she would think I'm obsessed with her or desperate.

Maybe because I couldn't meet her requirement, she wouldn't open the door for me to understand her better.
No matter how hard you try or care for a person, it doesn't go the way you want it to.
The feelings of failure and anger are killing me...I don't know who I can turn to..

Lotsa people gonna quit working at my work place.
I think its gonna left only 2 of the old staff including me since Kenny going to Malacca.
Hope no dumbasses joining or else I gonna go away.
Recently I saved some of my posts as draft and not posting it since it is sensitive at the current situation I'm in.
I can't wait for my Myviiiiiiii.
I wanna drive whole day when I get it.
Bang some music along on the way xD

Recent weeks I've been thinking about a friend all the time. (sorry, no name are inserted)
I can't let her out of my mind and I've been thinking about her 24/7.
I even stupidly confessed to her which I think it is too early since we didn't know each other for very long.
She told me that we should think of what's in present as a friend and let it flow slowly and takes time to know each other better.
But seriously I think she's interested in me as a friend only by the way she treats me.
Sometimes she's like giving me a hint and sometimes a cold shoulder and now I'm all messed up inside.

I think I need an appointment with the doctor.

Whee nice movie, I watch til very kan jiong for this show with Lyvian.

We bought the tickets a day before the show.

Adam called me to get the tickets but too late ady been full.

Very happy because I get to watch with Lyvian, hope we can get to watch movie again.

Kenny today suddenly came into the shop, off day also want to come back and scold us.

We been discussing what to do since 1 of our colleague atm card been stolen.

Seriously ppl nowadays can steal almost anything.

Recently working with Kenny very stress le I dunno why?

If I same shift with him I confirm lost all my mood.

It is because every night I have to sapu the whole damn shop !

Then need to count best buy shirts, got few hundreds omg.

Sometimes tak sempat to finish also.

He very smart, hired his girlfriend to work with him but nv work at all, waste company salary and made us to do more work.

Stress stress stress alot alot alot of of of many many many things.

We dress up as emo, goth, and punk rock on Halloween.
We threw away the idea of wearing pumpkin, wizard..or wadevaumightcallit.

I wanted to eat so much with Lyvian but our shifts all different 1 -_-

Sat night I chat with her til 4 a.m. She asked me whether I'm sleepy or not and I just tell her I'm still good. Actually I'm already dozing off.

Had a haircut on Sunday, and Jyee called me early in the morning but I didn't answer.

My mom called me to return her a call because it might be something impt since she sms me to call her when i'm free. I'm like heck care -_- nothing good when girl call up anywayz.

Went to the dentist and get my lens on the way home.

Seriously I hate afternoon, my skin will surely dry like salty vege.